The Name Game


I love naming things.  My secret dream job {besides travel show hostess and guitar playing rock star} is to be one of those people who names things like nail polish or paint colors.  How the heck does one get that job?  I’d really like to know. I would be amazing at it.  I already have some ideas. Take a shade of brown paint…I’d call it “Flying Monkeys”. {This is also the name of my fictitious band}  Or what about “Jump the Shark” for a light hue of grey?  How about “Maybe” for a sexy  tint of purple nail polish? I could do this all day.

If I was to write a bestseller I would call it “Wherever I Go, There You Are”. It would be a long book of short stories about my dad. My next cat is going to be named Steve. My next dog? Wil Ferrell. And I don’t care if they are female…that only adds to my amusement. {For the record, I probably won’t ever get another cat.} I love helping my friends name their children.  Actually, I am better at helping them at what NOT to name them…think of the Name-Game.  Will your precious child make it through junior high with a name like…say…China? {true story right there…thank goodness my sister listened to me.}

When you  are finished pondering that one we can move on…..Ready?

Although I have this love of name-calling, ironically I did not name any of my children.  That’s the most important naming job I will ever have, right? I did put my stamp of approval on them though.  The first kid was going to be named Alex.  But he may have been one of at least five Alex’s in his kindergarten class.   I was quite disappointed that Alex was like the #1 baby boy name that year. I wanted him to have a little individuality.   I had gotten  the name from a popular 80’s sit-com that I loved as a {very very very} young girl.  But “Alex” was shot down soon after two acquaintances beat me too it.  When my mom suggested I name him after the characters last name I loved it.  That’s my first child’s naming story.  At the age of two, kid #1 came up with kid #2’s name…a character in his favorite book, Where the Wild Things Are.  When baby #3 was just a bun in the oven, that brilliant five-year old {kid #1 again} came up with his name.  He’s named after one of Brad Pit’s movie characters. {Yes, all of my children are named for fictitious characters.  I love it. I am not a bit ashamed.}

So maybe I’m really not that good at naming things.  Because, like my children’s labels, I have to give all the credit for my blog name to someone else. Lets rephrase my original sentence. I love the process of naming things.  There, that’s a bit more realistic.  When I came up with the idea of a blog I just knew I couldn’t get it properly started without a good title.  I have a whole list of them which I will shamelessly share with you in a moment.  But none of them seemed as appropriate as “JAB at the World”.  {Actually, a few are just flat-out not appropriate for any of my many personas. Plus they might embarrass my teenager. I can do that in so many other ways.} So hats off to two of my sassy friends for the blog handle and tag line.

Here’s the breakdown of my ideas. In case you were wondering.

JAB=My initials.

jab= to punch, especially with a short, quick blow.

It sounds tough. Sometimes I like to sound that way. We all know that is just a cover up for unaddressed problems. Please keep those opinions to yourself. I am completely aware.

As for my ideas for my blog name here are a few ramblings…..

*Call Me Crazy

*Breakfast of Wellbutrin

*On Thin Ice

*Cheap Thrills {What?!???!??? I am a thrifty person.}

*Funny Shit I Need To Share With the World {stole this one too.}

*Me as Me

*Nostalgic & Narcissistic

And last but certainly not least…

*Hearts & Balls…I’ll break ’em both

{KIDDING!} Kind of. I’m having second thoughts now.


4 responses »

  1. I do remember being a tad surprised when you said you were letting K name your baby, but then, I had it in my head that he spelled it with two xx’s. All in all, K’s pretty good at naming, too. You should hire him out. Thanks for the giggle!

  2. One of our best names was for a person that we had great disdain for, and it ended up being just initials.
    Glad I could participate in the name game….if just a little.

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